It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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