i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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