I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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