You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
