my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
