this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
