At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
My liver just had a heart attack.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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