Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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