Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
