I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
