i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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