i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
