there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
