You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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