Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
