Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
