I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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