When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
