haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
