i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
