God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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