K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Im part way to drunk.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
