Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
