Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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