Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
