had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Life is so much better after having sex.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
