Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
