He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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