they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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