thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
