i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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