i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
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