i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
