SEEEEXXX PLEASE
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
