Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
