can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
