I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
