She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
