it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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