i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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