Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
