just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
