He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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