I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
