I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't deserve a penis
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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