On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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