Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Is Oprah even human
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
