Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
