So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
