I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
