i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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