Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
