a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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