the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
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