dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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